Don’t despair. Here are a few great ideas that parents have used to motivate their kids to take responsibility for their chores:
Here are some great ideas to help your kids do their chores:
Beads for Better Behavior
My husband and I have discovered a practical, yet simple way to promote good behavior in our five
children. We give out special beads when our children exhibit good manners, remember to do their
chores or promptly respond to our requests. Any positive attribute we want to foster gets a
Each child has a bead holder. They are in charge of putting their beads in, counting
them and notifying us when it is time for a reward. For each 50 beads they get, they pick a small
prize at the store. Once they reach 300 beads, they pick a one-on-one activity with one parent, such
as a movie or a trip to a trampoline park or restaurant. The beads are only used for praise, and we
never take one away.
— Sara L. Foust
My husband and I tired of reminding our four sons to do chores. We told our boys that if a chore was not completed by a predetermined time, another sibling could do it. Then the neglectful sibling had to pay the one who completed the job. Giving hard-earned money to a brother motivated them, and we no longer had to remind them.
— Sue Heimer
Motivate with a point system
At our home, we’ve adapted a point system to motivate our kids to take on chores. The system also encourages other ways of helping. It’s a fun way to instill responsibility and ownership without resorting to nagging or scolding. Here’s how it works:
- Each time your child completes a chore or task on his own, award points. The more important or difficult the task, the more points are earned. Especially kind or generous acts earn “bonus” points. Take away points for misbehaviors or failure to perform expected chores. The key is to be consistent. Be sure to decide on a point value system in advance.
- At the end of a predetermined time period (such as one month), the child with the most points wins.
- Make sure every child benefits regardless of who wins. In our home, the winner gets to decide where our next fun family outing will be — bumper bowling, the family arcade or a kids’ movie night to name a few. The winner earns the power of choice, but siblings still get to join in the fun.
— Dan Kassis
Did you finish your homework? Have you set the table? My children and I grew tired of my daily, ineffective interrogations.
One day I laminated a chore list for each child and set up a magnet chart that had their names and the days of the week.
Later, my children picked a small number of inexpensive items they wanted. I labeled each with a “price” of a specific number of magnets that needed to be earned before receiving the prize.
Whenever my children completed their chore list without being reminded, they placed a magnet on the chart. If they did not do their chores, they had to remove a previously earned magnet. Once a child earned enough magnets, the child could redeem an item from the prize box.
— Melinda Means
Build relationships through chores
I felt myself slipping out of touch with my six children. When my oldest boy stressed over his chores, especially doing the dishes, I worked alongside him, giving him an occasional elbow nudge or playfully splashing him. Soon his wall of resistance vanished. Now I view chores as a family relationship builder instead of a burden.
— Brandy Brow
Compiled article is copyright © 2009 by Focus on the Family. “Beads for Better Behavior” is © 2017 by Sara L. Foust. “Neglected Chores is © 2008 by Sue Heimer. “Motivate With a Point System” is © 2005 by Dan Kassis. “Chore Charts” is © 2008 by Melinda Means. “Build Relationships Through Chores” is © by Focus on the Family.