To create a healthy culture of responsibility, it begins with us as parents modeling a willingness to do those small things. Our children will pick up on our actions and will begin to live them out later in life. Watching them do this is in itself a great reward.
A few years ago, I had the honor of teaching graduate students at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Summers in the Windy City can be scorching hot and the winters can be brutally cold. Imagine if, in mid-February, I had walked to the back of that classroom and opened all the windows. I could stand at the front of the room and expound on anything I wanted. My teaching should be the students’ primary focus while in class. But the reality of the arctic air blasting into the classroom would dominate the experience of those students. And just like the weather, culture beats words any time. One way to describe culture could be as a climate used to build healthy responsibility into a child’s life. That climate will impact the focus of our children.
There are several great articles out there that outline the specifics of how to teach a child responsibility. For example, chore charts or age-specific tasks are great tools. But in addition to the specifics, we need to be aware of the culture of healthy responsibility that is either present or absent in our home. Our children need to know the reasons why being responsible—even when it’s hard—is a gift to them, their family, and others.
6 Specific Ways to Create That Healthy Responsibility Culture
1. You Teach Best What You Most Need to Learn
Imagine a graduation speech at a major university. The speaker takes the podium and utters these three words: “Make your bed.”
With hundreds of robed graduates assembled before him, Admiral William McRaven, former head of the U.S. Navy Seals, shared a series of life lessons. His simple encouragement has become one of the most-watched graduation speeches ever and became the title of a book. Admiral McRaven’s message was that if these graduates wanted to go out and do great, important things in life, they should start by being responsible in the small things—like making the bed.
This speech sounds a great deal like Jesus’ words in Luke 16 and Luke 19. Jesus shared that a person who is faithful with a little is the one who will receive much. He describes how a reliable and responsible servant pays attention to the small details in life.
If we are serious about creating a culture of responsibility for our children, it begins with us. We need to let the dog out, take the dishes to the sink, or offer to help bring in the groceries. Maybe you say “no” to one small thing a day, such as eating that second piece of pie. Or perhaps you do one thing each day that you can check off your list of urgent to-do’s. It’s those small, responsible things that speak volumes to our kids.
Creating a healthy culture of responsibility begins with us as parents modeling a willingness to do those small things. Our children will pick up on our actions and will begin to live them out later in life. Watching them do this is, in itself, a great reward.
2. Stand With Your Child at the Start of Every New Chore
It’s often true that kids who are too young to do certain chores want to do them. When they become old enough to help with these chores, they suddenly don’t want to! Young children are imperfect at doing tasks. They see you doing something and want to be just like you. How often do we push them away from helping because they’re slowing us down? Since they haven’t had as much practice at doing something as we have, they may leave a streak on the window or bit of dust on the table. Yet those who are serious about creating a culture of responsibility will stand with the child as they struggle to master a new skill. At the start of a new chore, we need to provide them with a living example of what a job well done looks like.