Time is a funny thing. Sometimes it seems to run, and sometimes it seems to walk, but time is always a thread of moments.
Sometimes moments feel meaningful, and sometimes moments feel mundane. I have recently taken time to reflect on my childhood in order to pinpoint the moments that have significantly shaped me.
I wanted to figure out the moments that drew me into a loving relationship with Jesus Christ. I wanted to understand the biggest tipping points throughout my personal history and thank God for how far he has brought me. As I sat down to reflect and pray about these transformational moments, a series of memories came rushing into my mind.
I found that almost every transformational moment included my mother pouring into me or examining the way that my mom loved God. My mom’s name is Amy Ford, and she has made it her mission to love and empower other mothers through a ministry called Embrace Grace. She has always held a reverence toward God, and a willingness to encourage the broken. She is bold, strong, and the best leader I have ever been around. Here is a letter that I wrote to her for Mother’s Day.
A LETTER TO MY MOM: THE BRAVE GIRL.
Happy Mother’s Day. Today, you are so worth celebrating. Today, I am grateful. I look back throughout my life and remember all the little things you have done for me, and all the big things that you have sacrificed. The more I mature, the more I understand just how sacrificial you have always been. You consistently lay your life down for the benefit of your family, and there is nothing more Christ-like. I’m sorry that I haven’t always appreciated those sacrifices, but I want you to know that I notice. I just want to thank you. I want to thank you for your patience, your kindness, and for always believing in me. Thank you.
As I am writing this, I’m realizing that I am the same age that you and Dad were whenever you found out that you were pregnant with me. That is a mind-boggling thought for me. First off, I just am blown away with how old you are (JUST KIDDING). But more importantly, I just can’t imagine the fear and pressure that you must have dealt with walking through a season of unplanned pregnancy. You were still living with your parents, dreaming about your future plans, and wondering where life would take you. The news of an unplanned pregnancy must have been terrifying. Whenever you walked into that abortion clinic, I know that you felt overwhelmed with shame. I know that you wanted to choose life, but you didn’t see a way out. The mere fact that you walked out of that abortion clinic while you were still pregnant is incomprehensible, but it seems to be a testament of the faithfulness of God. In a moment of fear and shame, you were willing to face tremendous fear and endure relational hardship so that you could have your baby. In that season, God used you to imitate Christ, because you were willing to sacrifice your dignity and reputation to give me a chance to experience life. Your bravery was Christ-like.
Twenty-one years ago, I bet you were in a mental space of anxiety and worry, not knowing how to raise a child or support a family. I want you to know that your bravery and strength drove you to become an incredible mother. You are such a great mom, and I can never stop thanking God for blessing me to learn and grow under your leadership. You are a walking representation of God’s faithfulness, and how His scandalous grace works to tether our hearts to His heart. I am overwhelmed thinking about how I have had the opportunity to watch your relationship with God grow in vibrance and intimacy. You have always been curious and have always held a sense of wonder in your worship. You approach the Throne of God with Spirit-Empowered boldness, having full confidence that the Heavenly Father desires to commune with you every day. Your life has framed the way that I worship, and your worship has opened my eyes to seeing God’s heart. I love God because you showed me what a relationship with God is supposed to look like. You are a great mother, but you are a better daughter; I could never stop thanking you for the example that you have shown me throughout my life.
The scared teenager that just found out that she was pregnant now loves God with all her heart, and continually stomps on the neck of opposing powers and principalities. Mom, you abide in God, and God abides in you. That reality is what makes you the best mom that I could ever ask for. I am so glad that I am your son, and that your bravery drove you to say yes to raising me.
I love you, Happy Mother’s Day.
© 2020 Jess Ford. All rights reserved. Used with permission